Shit City
Shit City is a large, technologically advanced metropolitan area in Northern California. During the Great Hipster Persecution of 2008, a group of spiritually-minded hipsters from San Diego and South LA banded together, hopped into a convoy of 2001-2005 Toyotas, Hyundais, and Hondas, and traveled north. Once they reached the Redwood forests, they began to build. They used advanced drone technology and artistic iPhone apps to design their new settlement. Relying heavily on trust-fund accounts from their disinterested parents, they were able to order vast amounts of metals and concrete materials (all organic). Their first course of action was to build a massive Starbucks, at least twenty times the size of your average mall Starbucks. This Starbucks was so large, it had a mall inside of it. Very ironic. Ennui-stricken, middle-aged homeowners, displaced by the Housing Crash of 2008, left Seattle and began searching for new, cheaper dwellings. Rumors abounded in Seattle of a place in Northern California, where people could room together in crappy dwellings but still be happy because they were artistically and emotionally liberated. The only caveat? The Seattle citizens would have to travel through the dangerous and dreaded Oregon, now deep into the violent warfare of the Hipster persecution. Conservative groups, possibly spurred on by Donald Trump, were crucifying hipsters in the streets of Portland. The Seattleites had no choice. They would have to travel through Idaho, then down through Nevada, to reach the northern regions of California. The Arrival of St. Edgar Soon after the city was founded, the economic center of the city became a corporation called Hammersmith's and Weststein's. This corporation began to buy up a lot of the land, and taking on multiple areas of industry, retail, and the like. Smaller businesses in the area began to fail as this corporate giant took control of the town, acting in ways not unlike the mafia. Soon the city government was in their pocket and they were given free reign over the city. Protests began to erupt all over the city, resulting in riots. After years of unrest, the local government began to be replaced by politicians who acted in the favor of the people and they began beating back control of the corporation, adding various restrictions to ensure they couldn't hold power over the city again. However some say they went to far and stunted the growth of many other up and coming businesses, who thrived until they got to a certain point, then, due to the restrictions, began to falter. What could the people of Shit City do? On the one hand, letting Hammersmith's and Weststein's have control of the city was disastrous for workers rights and justice, but on the other hand the economy of the city was starting to slip. Years went on and a great unease came over the city as it slowly began to slip away from being the economic powerhouse it once was. The city became the home of extreme political factions, each with their own solutions for fixing the problems of the city. These factions ranged from the rational to the traditional to the progressive to the irrational and finally the downright strange. Now, it is in the last of these camps we put our focus because one political group was a very odd one which many considered less a political group and more a cult. It was a group known as The Clappers, and they met in secret all across the city. At first no one took them seriously, on account of their strange rules such as "do not boil duck meat" and "do not use a half Windsor knot for your tie", but as the years went by they somehow grew in power. Soon they began to take seats in the local government and eventually had political control of the city. Despite this, the population at large did not trust The Clappers, at least not until St. Edgar was elected mayor. Now as for why he is a saint, The Clappers simply made him one for mysterious reasons, citing only his "brave actions in the face of supernatural hostility". Anyway, under his increasingly totalitarian rule, the economy has gotten much better, the city is very clean, and somehow the city has become the most technologically advanced city in the world. Category:Places